What would the Boltano's do?: Happy Birthday, Parker!

A year ago right now, I believe I was lying in bed with my eyes closed, whimpering softly. I think Jeremy was also trying to feed me scrambled eggs. For the 7 days that passed following my due date, all I wanted to do was go into labor. When labor finally started, all I wanted was for it to be over.

Then all of a sudden it was. Our beautiful little boy had arrived; and then the hard work really started. And I'm not referring to the diapers, sleepless nights, or feedings. I'm talking about the constant pull I feel to do everything I possibly can for my family. This past year, that has sometimes meant feeling pulled to my laptop to study so that I get good grades and hopefully, my dream job when I graduate in June. Sometimes that has meant a pull to my desk at my job, staying late to finish a project. (Who knows, maybe I already AM at my dream job?) Sometimes that pull has led me to skipping school in order to attend Parker's first Halloween Parade at Camp Amgen. (Today!) Or to drag my family to the farmer's market to purchase copious amounts of vegetables to throw into the Vitamix, even though El Cholo is calling our name, because I am determined that we will all be healthy. Honestly, sometimes I feel pulled to cast a spell on Parker and make him sleep for hours; and most of the time, once he does fall asleep, I feel a pull to go in and wake him up. Because even after just 5 minutes of sleep, I often miss him. A lot.

I've read countless articles, blog posts, and books about how having a baby changes your life. And I've read many more about how moms can avoid the craziness of motherhood find balance in their life by sneaking into the bathroom for 5 minutes to meditate. To these articles I say, "No, shit" and, "Shit no!" For I realized this morning, when I bolted out of bed at 5:30 AM and ran into my little boy's room to see in what hilarious new position he was sleeping this time, that I absolutely LOVE the crazy. I love the pull I feel in so many directions - to my family, my work (school), my job, and my health. I love making lists and getting shit done and not sitting still.

My life has always been crazy, and with Parker here, it has certainly been even more intense. And that's what has also made it all even better. Parker, you have changed my world, and for that I thank you. So let's take a look at how you've changed this year, too!