The Bikes on the Wall

After 6 months of our prized junk lining the walls of our garage, I finally motivated Jeremy to complete a project I've been pining over: bike hooks. I love my Orbea rode bike so so much, and it just sucked seeing her leaned up against the wall, no better than a mop or broom.

But Jeremy really outdid himself. And I helped. And I'm thinking that I should probably add these photos to Pinterest so that other cyclists and garage organizers can get jealous.  

The only thing better than seeing these bikes on the wall is hearing Parker pronounce, with conviction and without delay, EVERY TIME we enter the garage, be it on foot from the house or in the car from the driveway, "LOOK AT THE BIKES ON THE WALL!"

Bikes Mounted to the Wall

Bench Made by Jeremy

Time to tackle another home improvement project... What's next?

We do not put watermelon up our shorts!

As Parker gets older and more curious, more adventurous, and well, disobedient, I find myself constantly making up new house rules.

There are the typical NO rules I'm pretty sure all moms create at some point...

1. No feet on the table.
2. No standing in your high chair.
3. No throwing food.
4. No pushing.

There are also the expected YES rules, because as everyone knows, you don't want to be one of those parents who says NO all the time. (I kid. I have no qualms with being one of those parents, but there are quite a few moms out there who actively avoid saying no, to whom I say, GOOD LUCK.) 

1. Yes, we hold hands when crossing the street.
2. Yes, we wash our hands before eating and after going to the bathroom.
3. Yes, we wear seat belts in the car. 
4. Yes, we say HELLO and GOOD MORNING and THANK YOU and YOU'RE WELCOME and BLESS YOU.
5. Yes, we cover our mouth when we sneeze. And cough.

Then there are the rules that I have made but know can be bent, because quite frankly, sometimes I don't even follow these rules myself. So I went ahead and bent them in advance as a mini-experiment. We'll see how things turn out in a few more years. 

1. No picking your nose (when other people are looking).
2. No eating in the TV room (when the food is likely to stain the carpet). 
3. Always Sometimes wear shoes outside. (Especially after The Case of the Foreign Object...)

Last but not least and probably most importantly, there are the rules that I never expected I would need to enforce as a  parent. The rules that I wonder if other parents also end up enacting. And the rules that I think are what actually make being a mama so damn fun.

My intuition tells me that this list will continue to evolve over time. I'll be sure to report back often...

1. We wear pants when we have guests. And in public.
2. We chew our food before swallowing it.
3. We do not climb into the dishwasher.
4. We do not eat popsicles for breakfast.
5. We do not touch our poop.
6. DON'T pull your penis so hard. (Seriously, doesn't that hurt? I don't have one, so I don't know.)
7. We do not cry when it is time to go to sleep. (Especially not me, I effing rejoice!)
8. We do not put watermelon up our shorts.

I crafted that last rule last night at dinner, when I saw Parker putting pieces of watermelon up his shorts in the fashion of Napoleon Dynamite and his Tots. Creative yes, but likely to result in a stain on my family room carpet, big yes. 

Clearly, it's a lot for a little guy to learn. But so far, it's going OK, except for #6. I'll let Jeremy deal with enforcing that one, though. 

Time for Mama to Do the Dishes

Parker has been having a rough time falling to sleep the past couple of weeks. We converted his crib into a toddler bed because he was starting to talk about beds and he was also looking like he would start climbing out of his crib at any second. He's also about 30 pounds, which is a heavy load to lift in and out of a crib, and my back hurts.

It *might* have been too soon of a transition for him, but the first week or so went so well. In the mornings, Parker would wake up and just wait for me to come and get him -- in his bed. Eventually, though, Parker realized the best part of his "Big Boy Bed" was that he could get in and out of it as he pleased, and from there, going to sleep got harder.

We did some "controlled crying" to help Parker learn how to put himself to sleep when he was about 5 months old and Jeremy and I just couldn't handle 3 hours of screaming to sleep every night. It was terrible: Night 1, 32 minutes of crying. Night 2, 44 minutes of crying. Night 3, 7 minutes of crying. Night 4, no crying. Night 5, no crying. And from then on out, Parker was pretty easy to put to sleep.

Until two weeks ago. And now that he can talk, "controlled crying" is not just miserable, it's perplexing. The boy knows how to lie! After we let him cry for about 15 minutes one night -- with regular 5-minute check-ins to put him back in bed -- he yelled, "Parker poo poo!" So as dutiful parents who don't want their child sleeping in a dirty diaper, we went into his room to change him only to find out that his diaper was clean! What a little scam artist!

I feel like we've tried everything. Being kind, being harsh. Crying it out, sleeping beside him. Moving bedtime earlier, pushing it later. Today, while putting Parker in his bed for a nap, I just told him straight: "Parker is going to take a nap, because Parker is tired, and it is time for a rest. Also, when Parker is sleeping, mama  has to do some work."

He stopped sucking ferociously on his blanket and looked at me for a few seconds before stating, "Time for Mama to do the dishes." I swear, he's a GENIUS. Why didn't I think of explaining it to him so matter-of-factly sooner?

"That's right, Parker. Mama has to do the dishes. So when Mama leaves the room, Parker needs to close his eyes and stay in bed. And no crying."

He returned to sucking ferociously on his blanket, then rolled over.

"See you soon, Parker. Have a nice nap. I love you so much," I said, as I tiptoed out of the room.

No response. No getting out of bed. And no crying. Indeed, time for Mama to do the dishes.