And very soon, it was 5:30 AM on Saturday morning. I didn't get much sleep, and neither did Jeremy. (We stayed up until 1AM to watch Orange is the New Black. Idiots!) Having sensed the general excitement in the house, Parker also woke up early, too. We had planned to wake him right at 6:00 AM, but he was standing in his crib waiting for us come 5:42 AM. So by 6:20 AM, we were out the door and on our way to LAX. Crazily, we arrived at the airport in about 14 minutes. Security, breakfast, diaper changes... Everything went so smoothly. Before we knew it, we were on the plane and sitting in our seats.
I know, I was also surprised that we hadn't had a single misadventure getting to the airport! The flight was packed, too. We were bracing ourselves for a long, uncomfortable day of travel. But right before takeoff, the flight attendant told the woman sitting in the aisle seat of our row that she could move to an empty seat to give us some more "room" with the baby. (Translation: you know you don't want to sit with these people, why don't you take this open seat?) And without taking a massive dump, Parker again cleared the row for us. It was miraculous! Even more amazing than our own row was the fact that Parker took a 2 hour nap pretty much right after take-off. When he woke up, he was in a fantastic mood. That's not unusual, we obviously have a pretty happy little boy; but it was so appreciated on this flight. Jeremy and I were feeling pretty good about ourselves and our decision to travel to the other side of the world with a 10 month old baby. Piece of cake!
But then came flight #2.
We were flying US Airways, perhaps the worst airline in the world. (US Airways, I pray your merger with American works out.) We connected in Philadelphia, and with our first flight being 30 minutes late, we didn't have any time between flights. We literally went from one plane to another in about 15 minutes time, all of which we spent walking from one terminal to another. Poor Parker. We had hoped to let him stretch his legs a bit. It didn't happen.
The moment we boarded the aircraft I knew we were in trouble. First, it smelled like 1970 in there. It was the oldest plane I have ever seen. I'll provide some foreshadowing by mentioning that 7 hours later, when we landed in Brussels, a woman's seat belt just popped off her seat because of the impact. Yes, the plane was that large a piece of shit. And since we didn't have time to stop in the restroom between flights, I immediately headed to the plane's bathroom to get Parker into a new diaper before take-off. Airplanes are always loud with lots of white noise, but this plane was something else. Upon entering the bathroom and closing the door, Parker tensed up and pinched my neck with his teeny but very strong little fingers. He started to whimper. I set up the changing table, put Parker down, and his whimper quickly escalated into a shriek.
So I thought, "Hey, I have an idea. I'll change him while he's standing. He won't cry if I don't try to lie him down." How right I was! He stopped crying, but as soon as I took off his diaper, he peed. On my sweater and jeans. And all over the bathroom floor. Yes, Misadventure #1. Thankfully, there were plenty of paper towels in the bathroom since no one else had yet used the restroom, and I was able to clean up the puddle of pee. But the flight only got better from there.
The trans-Atlantic flight had one movie screen that was about 10 rows away from us. Maybe even more rows, who knows, it was so far away we couldn't count. I'm pretty sure that even the cheapest airlines in the US all offer personal TV screens by now, so what gives, US Airways? Retire this damn plane already! Then they served us dinner. I wouldn't feed my dog what they served for dinner. I don't even have a dog, so I don't even know how much I would love my dog, if I had one. But I am certain, I wouldn't feed him the shit they put on our tray tables.
Oh, but then it really got bad. Apparently, before take-off, there were a few electrical problems that required sorting. And some genius at US Airways had to make the decision: should we fix the system so that the "Time to Put on Your Seat Belt Beep" sounds when necessary, or should we fix the lighting system so that after we serve the dog food dinner, we can dim the cabin lighting so that everyone on this overnight, trans-Atlantic flight can catch a few hours of sleep? First, why can't both systems be fixed? Or working in the first place? But OK, if you have to pick one, I think we can live without the beeps. The flight attendants can get on the announcement system and say, "Please take your seats." They can even fake beep if they want. I'm pretty sure they make these statements anyway, right?
Well, our team at US Airways fixed the beep. They did not fix the lights. I'm not joking. The lights on this plane did not go out. All night. I think I remember hearing that in prison, to punish people in solitary confinement, they don't turn off the lights. So not only do you spent the entire day alone, you spend the entire day alone under intense lighting. To really torture a prisoner, I think they should put you on a packed airplane, feed you dog food, shine a spotlight on you, and make you take care of a very tired, very upset, very unable to sleep because there is a spotlight shining on his eyes, BABY. There were quite a few small children and babies on the flight and they were all a mess. Hell, most of the adults were a mess on this flight. Parker had a rough time. He fell asleep right after take-off for about 45 minutes, but was awake for about 5 hours afterwards. We couldn't get him back to sleep again, even though he was exhausted and rubbing his eyes and crying, practically begging for a break, until the flight was nearly over. It was awful. Without a doubt, the worst flight of my life.
So when we finally disembarked the plane, I was excited to spend an hour waiting to get through boarder security in Brussels. (Un chiste. Haha - that means, I kid.) Luckily, Parker slept through this horribly long waiting period. I had hoped he would have at least woken up for his first passport stamp, but he missed it! (Guess we'll just have to take another international trip very soon!) Parker finally woke up just as we were deciding that when in Belgium, one must partake in Belgian ale and Belgian waffles. Even if it is only 7:57 AM. So we had the most amazing breakfast ever. Leffe Blonds -- half liter size -- and a delicious, sugary waffle for our man Parker with whipped cream on top. I hope he doesn't start to expect whipped cream on his whole grain boring waffles from Whole Foods that we feed him ever day. Not happening, kid.
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| Parker Enjoying Belgian Waffles |
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| They Looked Like This Before |
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| Jeremy & I Downed These |
After breakfast, we let Parker crawl anywhere he wanted to go in the airport. He had been so good for the past 18 hours, sitting in our laps or in a stroller or in a car seat. We wanted to let him stretch his legs! To again be a 10-month old baby! Watching Parker be Parker during the next two hours was magical. He crawled on a marble (fake marble?) floor in which he could see his reflection, so he flattened himself on his tummy and kissed his reflection every few minutes. He crawled on a soft carpet near people sitting in chairs, so he went up to everyone and waved and said "Hi!", his newest trick. He even stopped crawling at one point so that he could WALK while we hung out at our gate waiting to board our final plane. He teeter-tottered a couple of steps from one chair to the other, fell down, giggled, then did it again. I have never seen him so happy. He made a lot of weary travelers smile, and I think that is one of my favorite things about this boy. He makes everyone smile.
Flight #3 literally flew by very quickly, and it was only a 2 hour jaunt to begin with. Safe in Porto, we unpacked, showered, and rested for a bit. We kicked off the vacation with a glass of Portuguese Mateus rose wine, a gift from our hosts, and mustered up the energy to do some exploring. Since it was a Sunday, nearly everything was closed. And those restaurants that were planning to open for dinner were staying closed until 7PM. Starving (we hadn't eaten since our Belgian Beer and Waffle Breakfast), we found a little tapas bar to have a snack in a square by the river. A "typical" European square full of cafes, our favorite! All was great until Jeremy spilled a glass of freezing cold water that went all over me (Yes, Misadventure #2) and then Parker, in a demonstration of pure over tiredness kicked the table and broke a glass (Misadventure #3). Time to go! It was great while it lasted.
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| We should have noticed the mischief in his eyes... |
It's now 8AM the next morning and Parker is still sleeping. So despite the misadventures and the long travel, we have a 10-month old sleeping through the night his first day in Europe. I think that is a huge success. Thanks for a great first night, Porto! Time to get ready for our day of exploring and tasting your signature wine... As soon as our baby wakes up!
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| Weird that we want our baby to wake up... |
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